good grief!
March 13, 2009I’ve realized that in dealing with my dog’s new-found habit of barking incessantly at anything, real or imagined, I have taken a path not unlike the traditional five stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.
1. That can’t be my dog barking like that. Must be the neighbor’s stupid dog. Well, if she is barking, someone must be bothering her or maybe someone is walking down our driveway. What a good dog! Warning us of a potential intruder or Jehovah’s Witness.
2. Dammit, dog! Stop your <beep>ing barking and get in the <beep>ing house! I swear, I will beat you! Don’t you look at me like that! Oh, you’re so gonna get it!
3. Puppy? Sweetheart? Stop barking and come inside, please. I’ll give you a treat. Maybe two treats? Wanna go for a ride? Mommy loves you.
4. I’m a failure. My dog doesn’t listen to me. My neighbors hate me. It’s only a matter of time before I start receiving anonymous threats to call the cops and flaming bags of poo on my doorstep. I’m gonna have to move. I can’t afford to move. My life is over.
5. Oh, lookie here . . . bark collars are on sale at Pet World!
