happy dress like a slut day!

Yes, it’s that time of year again.  Young women everywhere are trolling costume shops and department stores trying to find the perfect masturbatory male fantasy to dress as for Halloween. 

This year, though, I’ve noticed a new, disturbing trend.  It appears that every available female fictional character has already been strip-mined for their cleavage-bearing and thigh-high stocking capability.  Sexy Dorothy?  Done.  Sexy Cinderella?  Done.  Sexy Strawberry Shortcake?  As disturbing as it is – Done.  Then there are the multitudes of devils, angels, nurses, vampires and witches that have been sexy’ed ad nauseum. 

So, what is a costume manufacturer to do?  Well, they throw convention to the wind, is what!  Who needs Disney princesses and girly cartoon characters?  There is a whole world of traditionally male characters that are just dieing for a sex change!

Take, for example, Sexy Robin:

Technically, I don’t think this one counts since Robin wasn’t the manliest super hero (even for a side-kick) and he already had a girl’s name. 

Speaking of girl’s names:

Yeah, that’s Robyn Da Hood.  I didn’t make that up, that’s the name of the costume.  She doesn’t even have a bow and arrow!  How is she supposed to rob anyone without a bow and arrow?  Oh.  They just leave the money on the dresser?  I see. 

Why should Sexy Dorothy be all alone while skipping to Oz:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now she can have Sexy Scarecrow, Sexy Tin Man(?) and Sexy Lion to keep her company.  When they see the Wizard, though, they all ask for the same thing: Jello Shots!  Whoo, hoo!!

Now, these next two are just inspired.  I could almost get behind them if they had a sense of irony about them.  Unfortunately, I think they are all too serious.

Sexy Jason Voorhees and Sexy Freddy Krueger.  Scary.  And not in the way they intended. 

As ridiculous as all those costumes are, this next one takes the fun size Snickers bar: 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sexy Spongebob Squarepants?  And, it’s not even a real costume!  It’s a dress with his face on it! 
This reminds me of those crappy ’70s store-bought costumes.  You know, the ones that were basically a garbage bag with pictures of your favorite cartoon character all over it.  So, instead of having a Scooby Doo costume, you were actually just wearing an advertisement for Scooby Doo. 
Note the strategically placed eyes on Spongebob.  Now guys can openly stare at your chest and in your eyes at the same time!  At least Spongebob is looking at the girl’s face.  He’s a classy guy.