I have a BA in English from the University of Nobody Cares so I’m used to answering grammar questions or proof-reading letters and papers. I actually kind of enjoy doing it (cause I am a nerd) and it keeps my skillz sharp. What people, like my husband, don’t realize, however, is that being an English major doesn’t necessarily make me a great speller. In fact, I am totally dependent on spell check. I once misspelled the word “scenario” to such a spectacular degree that the only suggestion spell check could come up with was “wineries.” Yeah. MS Word just called me an idiot.
Anyway, quiet evenings at home tend to involve my husband in his recliner and me on the couch, each ignoring the television while we poke away at our lap tops. I’m reading blogs or writing and he is usually chatting with people on Facebook. You know, quality time.
Every five minutes or so, husband will stop his typing and lob a spelling question at me. Most of the time they are basic words that he just wants to double-check or he’s making sure he used the correct homophone. This doesn’t bother me too much because I do appreciate people who care enough to leave correctly spelled comments on Facebook. Sometimes, though, he’ll throw out a word that not only do I have little to no clue how it’s spelled, it’s so weirdly random I can’t help but wonder what in the hell he’s discussing with his friends.
“How do you spell Beelzebub?”
You better not be talking about me.
“Can you spell incendiary?”
Not in the house!
“How do you spell Joaquin Phoenix?”
Are you freakin’ kidding me? He doesn’t even know how to spell his own name! You know, this is what Google is for. I’m not turning my evening into one long, bizarre spelling bee!
Husband raises his hands in a calm down gesture and says, “Okay. It’s no big deal. I’ve now got spell check on Facebook anyway.”
I inherited the “throwing objects when enraged” gene from my mother. It has taken years to learn how to suppress those instincts, much to the benefit of our health insurance premiums and glassware collection. I calmly ask him why he keeps asking me to spell words for him if he has spell check.
“I just wanted you to get me started so that I could at least make sure spell check gave me the right word as an option.”
So, my husband knows that my spelling isn’t great, but apparently I’m better at it than him because he needs me to get the spelling close enough so the spell checker can recognize the word he wants. I wonder what MS Word would have to say about that?