I have a BA in English from the University of Nobody Cares so I’m used to answering grammar questions or proof-reading letters and papers. I actually kind of enjoy doing it (cause I am a nerd) and it keeps my skillz sharp. What people, like my husband, don’t realize, however, is that being an English major doesn’t necessarily make me a great speller. In fact, I am totally dependent on spell check. I once misspelled the word “scenario” to such a spectacular degree that the only suggestion spell check could come up with was “wineries.” Yeah. MS Word just called me an idiot.
Anyway, quiet evenings at home tend to involve my husband in his recliner and me on the couch, each ignoring the television while we poke away at our lap tops. I’m reading blogs or writing and he is usually chatting with people on Facebook. You know, quality time.
Every five minutes or so, husband will stop his typing and lob a spelling question at me. Most of the time they are basic words that he just wants to double-check or he’s making sure he used the correct homophone. This doesn’t bother me too much because I do appreciate people who care enough to leave correctly spelled comments on Facebook. Sometimes, though, he’ll throw out a word that not only do I have little to no clue how it’s spelled, it’s so weirdly random I can’t help but wonder what in the hell he’s discussing with his friends.
“How do you spell Beelzebub?”
You better not be talking about me.
“Can you spell incendiary?”
Not in the house!
“Spell velociraptor.”
Clever girl?
“How do you spell Joaquin Phoenix?”
Are you freakin’ kidding me? He doesn’t even know how to spell his own name! You know, this is what Google is for. I’m not turning my evening into one long, bizarre spelling bee!
Husband raises his hands in a calm down gesture and says, “Okay. It’s no big deal. I’ve now got spell check on Facebook anyway.”
I inherited the “throwing objects when enraged” gene from my mother. It has taken years to learn how to suppress those instincts, much to the benefit of our health insurance premiums and glassware collection. I calmly ask him why he keeps asking me to spell words for him if he has spell check.
“I just wanted you to get me started so that I could at least make sure spell check gave me the right word as an option.”
So, my husband knows that my spelling isn’t great, but apparently I’m better at it than him because he needs me to get the spelling close enough so the spell checker can recognize the word he wants. I wonder what MS Word would have to say about that?
“University of Nobody Cares” – I love it. I may have to use that one….will give you full credit. Still laughing.
Holy crap you’re quick! I just posted this!
Use can it all you want. Glad it made you laugh.
I ask my 14 year old all the time how to spell things. She thinks I am a moron.
Don’t 14 year olds think all adults are morons?
FYI. Rules of throwing objects. 1) make sure you are tired of looking at them, 2) make sure they will shatter with gusto, 3) hurl them at the floor for the sake of my son-in- law. PS. since the divorce I no longer have the urge.
My throwing is usually reserved for pillows or magazines. Light weight stuff. With my luck I’d throw something I wouldn’t mind breaking, but it would hit and destroy something that I really love and/or need (like the television or a dog).
yes, I seem to remember at least 1 letter from MI with the word “mutch” in it…. HEHEHEHE
also, I have that throwing things in a rage problem, but so far it has only recently popped up when Jeff and I were playing against each other on the X Box – my controller became a missle and my husband asked me if I was 12
)
Yeah, and it took me a long time to figure out that “each other” wasn’t one word.
And you tell Jeff that when adults play X Box, age regression should be expected.
Awesome to see you comment here! Squeeze that baby for me!
“I have a BA in English from the University of Nobody Cares”
ABSOLUTE WIN!
as someone who is spelling impared, I completely relate to this post.
My reply to “how do you spell…?” is “do you want to know how it is spelled, or how I spell it”
Which is why I now do all my blogging in firefox.. should remember to read blogs there too just incase I want to post a reply or something
half of my blog comments I write in Word first so I can use spell check then copy/past them into the comment box!
Great post! People actually say to me, “Hey, you have an English degree. How do you spell….”
Because obviously most universities offer Spelling 101.
I wish they did! What’s so messed up is that Grammar was not a required class for my English degree. I took it as an elective!
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Oh, Mother God. I think I peed a little. In a good, laughing kind of way.
If you have to pee on yourself, it may as well be from laughing. Thanks, Tori!