Is it Wednesday already? I don’t mean to sound unprepared, but these weeks just seem to be flying by lately. Have I mentioned how much I appreciate you, dear readers, for reading my rambling and completely uneducated wine posts? Well, let me remedy that right now.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Okay, back to the wine.
Some people take their wine very seriously. Ridiculously seriously. You can tell these people not only by the type of wine they drink, but also the accessories. It’s all about the accessories, right? Ultra sophisticated openers, stoppers made from precious metals and blown glass aerators that look like works of art. Some might say that owning a 36 bottle wine cooler is going a bit overboard, but I would like to tell those people that they have no idea what they are talking about and they should just keep their big mouths shut if they know what’s good for them. Ahem. Uh. Where were we?
Yes! Ridiculous accessories. How about these.
Wine glasses that represent the seven deadly sins. They’d be funny if the website didn’t seem to take itself just a teensy bit too seriously. The creator encourages the drinker to be theatrical. Last thing I want when I’m drinking wine is drama.
Or, how about a jewel encrusted bottle stopper?
Yeah, that would look real nice keeping my nine dollar bottle of Berninger fresh.
No. I think something like this is more my taste.
This would be better if the corkscrew part folded down switchblade style so you could use them as real brass knuckles, but this is pretty bad-ass, too. Wine isn’t for sissies! Believe me, I’ve been to some wine tastings where if you weren’t quick enough, you’d get elbowed in the ribs or hip-checked out of the line. Wine can make some people so angry.
Yeah, you can keep your bedazzled bottle stoppers and fancy schmancy theatrical wine glasses. Just give me a red Solo cup and a brass knuckle opener and I’m ready to party.
I’ve got to get one of those wine openers. That’s awesome. You never know when you’re going to need brass knuckles. But wait, no, my kids might use them to bash each other. I’d have to lock them in a cabinet somewhere. Yeah, on second thought, I’ll stick with a regular cork screw.
Hey, a regular cork screw in the wrong hands can be just as dangerous. I do think the brass knuckles may send the wrong message to your children, though. I’m childless, so I’m totally gettin’ some!
Fold down the corkscrew? Don’t be ridiculous. Think of how effective brass knuckles with a skewer could be. You wouldn’t even have to hit the dolt annoying you, a well placed poke could be oh so convincing.
I was thinking the same thing. Talk about getting screwed.
Looks like one of Freddy Krugger’s implements. Are you looking into pumpkin wine for Halloween, Columbus Day wine, and gobble gobble wine for Thanksgiving or will you sip Wild Turkey? Is there a mistletoe or snow cone wine for Christmas? How about wine for the baseball playoffs and World Series?I hear “Strike Three” is good stuff.
Pumpkin wine sounds absolutely horrid and I don’t want anything to do with brown liquor like Wild Turkey. I don’t drink to celebrate sports ball games. If I happen to be drinking while one is going on, it’s pure coinsidence.
I find that when the weather gets chilly a nice Merlot or Cabernet goes will with just about anything.
Oh Amy, the people around here are psycho for wine stuff. When I got out of college and lived in an apartment, the one next door was rented to a man who kept his wine collection there – he didn’t live there. Friends have all sorts of wine rooms, one serious collector has a freestanding stone wine house; big old cellar on the bottom with bedroom on top. I still use a Screwpull. Lots of purple teeth around here. Ridic.
Renting an apartment just for your wine – crazy!! That stone cellar with the bedroom on top sounds pretty cool, though. Like a little getaway place. I use a Screwpull, too!
saw something in my most recent Signals catalogue (neat quirky stuff) you would also enjoy – a wine stopper with a bicycle bell on it! Check it out online!
Ha!! No one can sneak your wine from you – brilliant!
Do you think all those appendages on “greed” actually hold extra wine…o-o-o-o that would be too rad.
Yes! Those appendages are hollow and wine fills into them. So, I guess you are being greedy cause your glass can hold more than anyone else’s.
I am loving the gangsta cork screw pull. That is freaking awesome. Buy it. Then take it with you to Montaluce Vineyards. Then tell me their reaction.
OMG! That would be so awesome! I feel a road trip coming on . . .
Better yet, take it with you to Montaluce and when they go to open a bottle yell and wave your arms,”NO NO STOP! I GOT IT!” and present your brass knuckles bottle opener.
Then pretty pleeeeease take a pic of everyone’s faces and post it here for Wine on Wednesdays!
Those glasses are insane. Allow me to finish my bottle of Columbia Crest before the drama ensues please.
Wow, the ironic thing is I’m currently working on a project where I was asked to portray the seven deadly sins using typography. And those glasses will make fantastic inspiration. Thanks loads for sharing these.
That sounds like a very interesting project. So glad that I could help!