The crowded theater erupts into applause as a pallid female figure draped in a tattered Versace sequined gown limps across the stage on one metallic Louboutin pump and a gruesomely broken ankle. As she shambles toward the podium, the presenter (a vacuous starlet known for her role as the heroine in teen vampire dramas) eyes her with caution, but smiles brightly and holds out the award while angling her body so she looks as thin as possible for the cameras. The winner grabs the golden award from the starlet and caresses it with blood-crusted fingers then she holds it aloft, releasing a triumphant moan. The audience responds with renewed applause. The winner then tosses the award aside and turns to the starlet. With one clumsy leap, the starlet is knocked to the floor and the winner sinks her teeth into the flesh of the starlet’s shoulder, ripping a bloody chunk away. The starlet’s screams are drowned out by the roaring cheers from the crowd.
It’s an embarrassment of riches over here at FIOD. Someone has seen fit to shower me with another award. While this one is as equally appreciated as the Stylish Blogger award, it is infinitely more appropriate.
The incredibly talented Ian created this award to honor blogs that promote all things zombie. Thank you so much, Ian! My love of the shuffling pus-bags is well documented, but I had no idea that I would be recognized for it with an award. And what an awesome award it is! Ian made that, folks. Seriously. Take a moment to appreciate the artwork. Freakin’ fantastic! And, as of right now, I am one of only two bloggers who have been bestowed this honor. An inaugural member, if you will.
Well, I’m about to change all that. Cause I am charged with passing this award on to two unsuspecting victims.
Here’s the fine print:
- If you are the recipient of this award and have dedicated at least one post in your blog to zombies, the undead or anything about the walking dead then you are truly one of the infected and have the power to award this gift to two other bloggers of your choice. Make a post announcing your utterly awesome achievement and name your two victims.
- If you are the recipient of this award and have NOT written anything about zombies in your blog then you must dedicate one post to nothing but zombies. A legit post. Not a “I hate zombies” or “Zombies rock” two paragraph announcement. A real post folks. I don’t care if it’s a story, news, a movie review, book review, creative fiction, or whatever. Entertain us! Once you have done so you will have officially infected the internet with more zombie goodness and can reward the gift to others. Make a post announcing your super fresh award and name your two victims.
Obviously, I belong to category #1 (did you see the Zombie-A-Month 2011 page I created? Hello?).
So, whom shall I infect next?
There you go, ladies. Go forth and infect, but choose your victims carefully. We don’t want this award to become decapitated before it has a chance to enjoy all the brains that blogland has to offer.