I’m honoring a commitment ceremony on Independence Day. Kinda ironic, huh? Well, I don’t think of my blog wife, Thoughts Appear, as a ball-and-chain but more like a partner-in-crime. And to prove it, today I’m letting her steal the show.
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When Amy, aka Zombie Princess Leia, asked me to write a guest post, I knew immediately what to write about. Zombies.
And since the zombie apocalypse is rapidly approaching, I decided to rewatch a classic zombie movie for survival tips: George Romero’s Night of the Living Dead.
Step 1: Identifying Zombies
The zombie experts in Cumberland, Maryland (Thoughtsy’s Fun Fact #1: I went to college near Cumberland.), describe zombies as…
- Mis-shapened people
- People who act like animals
- People in a trance
- People who eat flesh
If you’re still unsure if someone is a zombie, there are two tests to administer.
- Zombies are afraid of fire.
- Zombies lick their lips when you pour salt and pepper on your arm.
Step 2: Escaping Zombies
Here are the escape tips I learned from the movie:
- Beware of headstones when running in the cemetery.
- Don’t let a woman drive the escape vehicle. She’ll wreck it…after driving 5 feet.
- Don’t let a man drive the escape vehicle. He’ll catch it on fire.
- Maybe just forget escape vehicles and wait for rescue.
And finally and most importantly…
Step 3: Zombie Karma
If you tease your sister in the graveyard, a zombie will eat you. (Thoughtsy’s Fun Fact #2: I have a brother who teases me…a lot.)
Now gimme your best zombie face. Here’s mine.
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Thank you, Thoughtsy, for your informative and (more importantly) highly entertaining guest post. And, also thank you so much for my awesome engagement ring! I love it!
I may have licked it. Just once.
Everyone, please check out Thoughts Appear’s Blog for more important life lessons that movies teach us as well as just general awesomeness.
I have also noticed that whenever someone tries to drive around zombies there is massive failure.
Flat tires, overheating, accidents, fires, flip overs.
I am starting to wonder if somehow zombies can ‘control’ escape vehicles.
I know, silly, but……
Great advice! It must also be said that if your loved ones turn into zombies, don’t hug them! (You’d be surprised how many people in zombie movies do this!)
That ring is awesome! Love it!
So, I totally have Zombie Fear, which is unfortunately accompanied by a strange compulsion to watch the zombie movies. I almost need to watch them – need to. What is that?
I’m terrified of sharks, too, but it’s different somehow – I have no such compulsion to swim in the ocean. Quite the opposite, actually (I’m an ankle deep girl, thank you very much, you go have your fun, try not to get eaten, I’ll be waiting right here).
And now! I’m new to blogging, and what do I find but zombies, zombies everywhere. I had no idea that the world was so over-run by zombie junkies. The worst part is that I feel myself becoming infected, too. I almost need to become a zombie junkie – need to.
Oh the humanity, I mean inhumanity. And isn’t that just the zombie way – can’t be satisfied until everybody’s just like you!
What’s a girl with zombie fear to do?
Psychowatcher, I never thought about zombies controling vehicles. Whoa…that’s scary.
Skipping Stone, welcome to the zombie, errr, blogging world!
Wait, you guys got married?? Jesus, I step away for a month and all of a sudden, my blog crushes have left me alone to fend for myself in the cold, zombie ridden world. Oh well, I’ll have a Pop Tart and get over it
. Loved the post!
I’m not sure about the eating flesh part, but my neighbor definitely has the first three characteristics down pat. I need to remember to keep my door locked.
ps. I am totally craving that ring!
You should remember to keep your door locked anyway. Just sayin’.
I wasn’t joking about licking the ring. It really looks good enough to eat.