it’s the small moments

So, I’m sitting on a small settee in the hallway of the funeral home when this kid, no older than ten, sits down beside me.  He has black hair and his dark eyes are wide and sincere.

“How did you know Lena?” the kid asks, as natural as you please.

I look at him like he’s from another planet – well, I think all kids are from another planet, but whatever one this kid is from I’d actually like to visit.

“She was my grandmother,” I tell him and he nods his head, contemplating my reply.  I ask him how he knew her, very curious about his answer.

“I knew her my whole life,” he says straightening up, obviously very proud.  “She gave me this metal truck that I can put coins in and she also used to give me candy.”

Yep. That’s my grandma, I thought.

The kid, who I later learn is named Tony, continues speaking. “I’m so glad that people aren’t crying and sad and are instead laughing and telling happy stories about her.”

“I am, too,” I tell him.

And now, I am very glad that this will always be my memory of my grandmother’s funeral.


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35 thoughts on “it’s the small moments

  1. it is amazing how some of the most profound things come out those little mouths. A sweet testament to who your grandmother was :)

  2. This was lovely Amy. I’m so sorry for your loss. I wish there was more I could say or something I could do. Today I will have candy and count the extra change I’ve been saving for a rainy day…which I will use to buy more candy…

    Thank you for sharing.

    • Did you know my mother? She was always saving change, we even put some in a newspaper plastic wrapper, her favorite form of piggybank, in with her. Along with two Hershey bars, her favorite thing to eat.
      Thank you for your warm thoughts.

  3. I’m so sorry for your loss, Amy.

    When my brother died of cancer at 35 I was pretty broken up when we were leaving the church for the funeral. My daughter, then 6 said, rather impatiently, “I don’t know why you’re crying so much. Uncle Pat is happy in heaven with God. I know that, and you should, too!”

    Children have such a simple, direct way they can really help us put it all in perspective.

  4. I feel like I miss her a little bit too. Even tho I didn’t know her my whole life. We got to see her and learn a little back during the Florida episode, when she handled herself with dignity when none was offered. This made her bigger than other people in my mind. And little Tony bringing along the truck she gave as a gift…a priceless token of her attention to others.

  5. Thank you to all our friends out there in blogland. Mom’s death was a celebration of those who knew and loved her. Tony, and his mother, mysteriously did not sign the guest book. I am going to do my best to find them through other folks that were at the funeral. Or, perhaps he was just an angel among us.

    • She was very valuable and I don’t think I fully realized exactly how much until I heard people talking about how she had changed their lives. Thank you, Carl.

  6. I found Tony. After thinking he was an “angel in our midst” because I couldn’t find him in the guest register, after calling church folks and asking friends, after everything else….I found him. I can thank him and let him know what he meant to all our family.

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