dancing newtons – a guest post

Well watta ya know. Someone was actually brave nice enough to submit a guest post. That someone is Dan who blogs over at Random Says. You may remember Dan from his contributions to BlogFestivus last December (also known as The Great Bird Apocalypse of 2011).  So, I’m going to step back and let him take the wheel.


When I read that Amy was inviting her readers to submit applications to guest-blog, I jumped at the chance. I mean, this is Fix it or Deal we’re talking about! If I can get posted on here, I’ll have hit the big time!

So I put together an application using ninety-seven carefully chosen words and sent them off with fingers crossed. Lo and behold, I was accepted!

But here’s the thing. I’m a guest-blog virgin. Yes, I’m not ashamed to admit it. I don’t know what I’ve been doing with my life till now, but somehow I’ve avoided writing for another person’s blog.

They say be careful what you wish for, you may get it, and here I am, wondering about the etiquette involved in being a guest on someone else’s blog.

I’ve already taken off my shoes. I’ve tried to be respectful of the space (though I’m sorely tempted to pick up the boat propeller and play with it). I’ve made friends with the pets. Let’s face it, there’s nothing left but to dive in and start writing.

Since I wasn’t given any particular topic, anything is fair game. But, for an indecisive person, that leaves too many choices! So, I’ll take a cue from one theme of this blog: retro.

When I was young, I saw what may have been the greatest worst commercial ever. It was for Fig Newtons and featured The Newton dance. Was it good? You’re darn tootin’!

The sad thing is that the song from that commercial has been stuck in my head for the many years that have passed since it aired. (Yep, that is what I waste my brain cells on, along with the theme song from “The Beverly Hillbillies.”)

With any luck, you too will find yourself humming that song at completely inappropriate times and I won’t feel so all alone. You’re welcome.

Ooey gooey, rich and chewy…


Oh man, when I was a kid, there was a radio ad for the Buford Highway Flea Market (I think) that played on all the Atlanta stations. They had a jingle at the end of the ad that would constantly get stuck in my head. If you lived in the Atlanta area about 25 years ago, I bet you can sing along: 4801, 4801, 4801 Buford Hiiiiighwaaaayyy.

What commercial jingles from your childhood are taking up valuable real estate in your brain?

Be sure to go visit Random Says and follow Dan on twitter, too!

If you would like to guest post here on FIOD, just send me an email at amy(dot)c(dot)severson(at)gmail(dot)com. Come on. Dooo eeeet.

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41 thoughts on “dancing newtons – a guest post

  1. Pingback: Branching out with style (and Fig Newtons) | Random Says...

  2. Hello, my name is Peg, and I am standing up to admit that I also know that whole commercial. I haven’t sung it in years, but if asked, I could pop it out right here, and right now. The song, the dance…all I’m lacking is the fig costume (with tights).

    Somehow it helps to know I’m not alone out there.

    • Hi Peg. Thank you for being brave enough to stand up and admit that. I’m grateful to know I’m not alone!

      Who knew writing about this would be so therapeutic?

  3. Dear WordPress.. I have subscribed to Fix It or Deal’s post, yet I seem to be missing her posts. WordPress…. Fix it – or Deal with the repercussions. (Um, you’ll arrange the repercussions, right Amy?)

    Dan, I remember this song well, and I was known to cut a rug when the commercial aired. The Fig Newton dance was – is – and will always be better than the macarana.

    Here’s the tricky part …. the big Fig Newtoooon!

    • I have to agree that it’s better than the macarena. I may joke about it, but the Newton dance is so goofy, it’s fun!

      I’m glad you stopped by in spite of WordPress dropping the subscription ball. (By the way, I “subscribe” via Google Reader (RSS) and Fix it or Deal’s posts have been showing up for me. In case that’s helpful at all…)

    • HEY! I’m not seeing Amy’s posts eaither! (toothy grimace topped by Annoyed Orange Eyes)-and other posts take almost a day to load in. Hmm.

      I have no reccollection of that Dancing Fig Newton, but I can see of lot of his influence on the later Micheal Jackson moves.

  4. A perfectly respectable guest post, I loved it! Do you know what commercial I used to love…it was for Snickers and the guy was painting the end zone for the Kansas City Chiefs. When he was finished, they said something like, ‘great but who are the chefs?” The guy then says “great googly moogly”. I know my explanation doesn’t do it justice but it made me laugh every time.

  5. Oh, dear God. I’d forgotten the green velour (or is that velvet) fig costume. I may never be able to erase that from my memory now. Thanks for that. Hey, is it just me, or does anyone else thing the Fig Newton guy looks like Bobby Moynihan from SNL (or vice versa)? Weird.

  6. The one that is stuck in my head, and pops up at random times, is actually older than me. I heard it in a movie that I can’t remember the name of now (Stallone and Westley Snipes). “My dog’s better them your dog, my dog’s better than yours….”

    • Demolition Man! In the movie they watch old commercials for entertainment. That’s a old Ken-L-Ration dog food commercial.
      And now, once again, I’m thoroughly embarrassed by my useless movie trivia knowledge.

      • Yes! I could NOT remember that name. I was on lunch or I would have just looked at it. I’m old, so not only is it on VHS, but it’s one of those home ones where I copied it from the original with two VCRs. Ah, the good old days…

        • Hmm, I remember the days before VCRs and even remote controls, so maybe I’m older than you? (Why, back in my day…we had to actually get up and walk all the way to the TV to change channels!)

          • Yes, I remember that. My dad woke me up once – on a school night, too! :) – to come change the channel for him. He still thinks that was funny. I took one of my family’s early tv’s to college when we moved into an apt. – it was one of those big box things that sat on the floor. It was it’s own entertainment unit. When my parents first got a VCR, the VHS movies were about $90. I guess some things are better now, huh?

            • That’s funny, your dad waking you up to change channels! Was it meant to be a joke? We had a big honkin’ entertainment unit too. It was long with a TV in the center, big speakers on the sides and over the speakers was a stereo tuner on one side and a turntable on the other.

              I don’t remember VHS movies being so spendy, but I think we pretty much only rented movies. I don’t even remember getting a VCR until after college. Things have come a looooong way since then in the electronic world. Wild.

              • It was a combination of lazy and thinking it was funny. He’s onry like that. He actually yelled from the living room (granted it was a tiny little apartment) to wake me up. Which he did. I even had to come down from the top bunk. What an existence, huh? :)

                Our console tv wasn’t that big – just a tv. It was heavy, but it was on wheels.

      • Oh, I remember that song too. And, yep, there it is…running through my head. I feel like this post opened a big ol’ can of worms.

        Don’t feel embarrassed by your movie trivia knowledge. I have a bunch of quotes and scenes taking up brain space too. Who knows when that knowledge will come in useful? Maybe it’ll even save the world someday. Somehow.

  7. We had a swimming pool so our house was the neighborhood gathering house. A big group of us would get together on the edge of the pool and do the Fig Newton dance and with the big finish. . .the big..fig…newTONNNN, we would jump into the pool. Fun times. Thanks for sticking that song in my head!

    (For some reason it also brought to mind the Long John Silver’s ad: Crab Legs, We’ve Got Crab Legs…)

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