didn’t I read this in a Stephen King novel?

Have you heard about the “Best job in the world”that is being offered by the Australian tourism board?  It sounds too good to be true: get paid about $100,000 to take care of a tropical island in the off-season.  Feed some turtles, do some snorkeling, make any needed repairs and post some blog updates.  Minimal work for a lot of pay and no prior experience is required. 

Hmmmm . . .

What if we replaced the island with Colorado mountains in the dead of winter and the tropical villa with a rambling, turn-of-the-century resort with a dark past?  Sound familiar?  Let’s hope the caretaker chosen isn’t easily manipulated by evil forces and doesn’t have a son who talks to his finger.  Where’s Scatman Crothers when you need him? 

Although, how funny would it be if the island caretaker posted a blog entry with nothing but, “all work and no play make Jack a dull boy” repeated over and over!

the horror

Vampires, witches, werewolves do not frighten me.  Spiders frighten me.  All the legs, all the eyes – they are a study in overkill.  If you corner one it will actually run (or hop – the hopping is the worst) TOWARD you!  They know they are badass.  I try to catch and release most critters that I find in my house, but spiders I grind into the carpet. 

If I ever find this spider, however, I would turn into a quivering pile of goo:

It’s eating a freakin bird!!  No joke, people.  Read all about it here.  Just looking at the picture is making me do that reflexive shiver movement thing where you try to brush off all the imaginary spiders that you feel crawing all over you.

I used to want to visit Australia.  Not so sure now.  In Australia the spiders grind you into the carpet.