I fear that I might have mis-represented myself. See, I may know how to string together some kick-ass sentences and dazzle you with my mad MS paint skills, but in reality, I’m not that cool. I got quirks. Crazy quirks, and I’m willing to share them with you, dear readers, so you may feel a little better about yourself. I want you to be able to stop and say, “well at least I’m not like that girl with that blog,” when ever you start to feel inadequate in any way. I can’t help it. I’m a giver.
- I do not like my food to touch. My chicken leg should never make contact with the au gratin potatoes and salad always goes on a separate plate cause if vinaigrette oozes onto my broccoli I get panicky. During Thanksgiving, I refrain from gravy cause it never stays in the mashed potato crater where it belongs and forget pouring it on the turkey cause that’s just a nightmare. Up until a few years ago, whenever I ate Chinese food, I would put the rice on one side of my plate and the Mongolian beef on the other. If I wanted a bite with rice and beef, I would mix it one fork-full at a time. I will skip dessert rather than place a slice of cake on the same plate that I ate my dinner on. And, no ice cream on that cake, please. You can scoop that into a separate bowl.
- If I see a drawer or cabinet that is open for no reason, I have an over-powering compulsion to shut it. I used to live in an old house where one of the kitchen cabinet doors was warped and wouldn’t close all the way. I almost had a nervous breakdown.
- I hate unloading the dishwasher. I have no problem loading and running it, but unloading it makes me very cranky. Just to avoid unloading it, I will use the clean dishes out of the washer instead of in the cabinets until after a couple of days there are only a few cups and some silverware left in the washer and the sink is full. I’m the same way with suitcases. I love to pack them, but after I come home, it will lay on my bedroom floor for a week. I’ll use clothes out of it until all that’s left is my swim suit or beach clothes that I’ll never wear to work, then I’ll finally break down and empty it out.
- I will not flip over my wall calendar to the next month until it is actually that month. I don’t care if it is Sunday evening on January 31st, I will not turn the page until Monday morning. I don’t know why, but I just think it is bad luck to move the calendar forward before the date has passed.
- At work, I only have one pen, one pencil and one hi-liter in my desk organizer. When my pen runs out of ink, I will replace it with one from the supply cabinet. I can’t stand having multiple half-used pens or pencils on my desk. I believe in staying loyal to one writing implement at a time.
Okay. That’s enough, right? Do you feel significantly better about yourself? Good, because I just noticed that there is a magazine on the floor and items that belong on a shelf or the coffee table should never be on the floor. It’s just wrong.