vacation, all I ever wanted

One year ago, I was at a resort in the Dominican Republic having the most wonderful time imaginable.  This year, my summer vacation isn’t quite so extravagant, but I am looking forward to it none the less.  In a few weeks my husband, pups and I will load up the Matrix and head down to visit my mom in Destin for July 4th. 

White sugar sand, warm salty breezes, diving under the waves and the roar of breaking surf, short sudden storms that leave the air smelling electric, swim-suits thrown over lawn chairs to dry in the sun, pink shoulders, sun freckles across my nose, SPF 30 and aloe, tacky beach shops along the strip, free hermit crabs, henna tattoos, hair pulled back, sunglasses on, flip-flops 24/7 even at dinner, frozen drinks on weather-worn decks, fresh oysters, shrimp, grouper, amberjack, red snapper, wedges of lemons picked from mom’s trees, laughter between bites, everyone talking over each other, raising our glasses to the chef, walks along the docks at sunset, gulls and pelicans perched on pylons, boats straining against ropes as thick as my wrist, dolphins playing in the bay, craning our necks to watch the fireworks from the deck of the sailboat, music echoing out across the water and champagne on the beach at midnight. 

Another thing I love about beach vacations is being able to live out of a suitcase.  Life is pared down to the basics, the essentials, nothing extraneous to weigh me down.  I pack all my favorite clothes, the ones that fit the best or are the most comfortable.  I bring my cutest pajamas, two favorite swim-suits and three pairs of shoes to go with everything.  I have only one eyeliner, one eyeshadow, mascara and SPF 30 moisturizer.  Then throw in my hairdryer, a couple of books, my journal and a pen.  I take my small travel purse and empty my wallet of everything except license, debit card and health insurance card.  That’s all I need and it is liberating.  I like not having to sort through a closet full of clothes to find the one shirt that I really want.  When I’m on vacation, that shirt and the four others I love are all I have to choose from.  It’s like going to a restaurant that only has grilled salmon on the menu and you love grilled salmon. 

That’s the kind of vacation I want: I don’t have to make any decisions, but if I do, they are obvious.

someone felt left out

Ball was quite upset that he didn’t get to go to the Dominican Republic.  So, I made him a picture so he could at least pretend he was there.

 

 

adventures in ultraviolet radiation

In three weeks, I am (god willing) going to be closer to the equator than I have ever been.  I am a fair person.  No, not fairy princess “fair”, but pale-skinned.  Because of this, I thought it would be a good idea to pre-empt being turned into a human pork rind by trying to get a tan beforehand.  Not having a suitable setting for laying out in the sun (that being private pool and cabana boy to refresh my margarita) I opted to purchase a one month membership to a tanning salon. 

My first visit to the salon was on the same Saturday as UGA graduation, so it was virtually empty.  Perfect.  Last thing I wanted was to have to elbow through a throng of melanin obsessed sorostitutes.  The girl behind the counter was very nice and not particularly tan herself, so I felt comfortable talking to her.  I explained my situation and she prescribed a few sessions in the Level 4 bed (a  non-burn bed, whatever that means) to prepare my skin, then the remainder of my sessions in a Level 1 bed at increasing time intervals.  I had to purchase the protective eye ware so I wouldn’t fry my retinas and sign a waiver stating that I would wear them every time.  I was also talked into buying their special $20 tan lotion that is supposed to help my tan develop.  I think it just makes me smell like a pina colada. 

After I’m all signed in and my debit card is swiped, the counter girl directs me to room 10 where my Level 4 bed awaits.  She tells me that I will have 5 minutes to undress and apply my lotion then the tanning bed will automatically turn on and I will bake for 8 minutes at 100 degrees (no need to turn half way through).  The bed looks like a dentist chair from a sci-fi movie, not the lighted coffin that I expected.  I undress down to my bra and panties and slather myself with the lotion.  I must have taken longer than 5 minutes because the bed fired up as I was still examining the two little orange cups that I was somehow supposed to balance over my eyes.  I quickly lay on the bed and balance my eye cups over my lids. 

One of the added features of the Sunboard X-Treme Tan Tec tanning dentist chair are built in fans to cool you while you bake.  They also create a nice white-noise effect which I am sure is very relaxing.  I, however,  was finding it hard to relax because the gale force winds generated by the fans kept blowing the eye cups off my face.  Each time I would have to search for them without opening my eyes lest I became permanently blinded by the mega-watt tanning bulbs surrounding me.  I finally figured out that I could lay the little white towel that was provided to me over the eye cups to keep them in place. 

Finally situated, I let myself get lost in the heat and the hum which was actually quite pleasant.  After a few minutes the bulbs clicked off, the fans stopped blowing and my session was done.  As I was getting dressed I made a mental note to lotion up faster next time and to definitely remember the towel over my eye cups. 

On my way out I noticed the counter girl talking to a new customer who was so pale she made me look like a migrant worker.  This girl was copy paper white.  I wondered how many sessions it would take her just to get to the shade I am now.  No longer feeling freakishly pale, I walked back to my car with my head held high.  I was also a little more confident that I would not spontaneously combust while sipping my umbrella drink at the beach in a few weeks.  Well, just a little more confident.  Me and Mr. X-Treme Tan Tec still have some work to do.