space eggs

My candy consumption this Easter was very modest.  I purchased one plastic egg filled with various shapes and sizes of everyone’s favorite chocolate-covered peanut butter confection.  I rationed these treats so they lasted throughout the weekend.  When I was done, I was left with this:

A  hollow plastic egg.  Normally, I would have tossed this into the recycle bin, but the shape of it caught my eye.  As I examined it more my crafty spidey-sense started tingling. 

Craft tools!  Assemble!

I find that Pinot Noir pairs well with crafting.

I painted, cut, cursed, measured, cut again, glued, cursed louder, passed out from the combination of permanent marker fumes and alcohol, woke up and painted some more.  Around the time when I was bandaging my x-acto knife wound, I remembered that this was supposed to be fun.  I briefly considered changing my hobby to tagging highway over-passes or freight trains (I already had the spray paint) but then decided to stick with this project to its completion.  And I’m glad I did.     

Behold, my interstellar transport vehicle!

Also known as a space ship.

I wanted it to look a little banged up, like it’s been traveling the uncharted depths of deep space for many years.  The black marks on the nose and along the body are supposed to be re-entry burns. 

Here is a picture of my little ship all ready to blast-off:

I like it.  Definitely worth the cost of a few evenings and a little blood.

You see that rad-tastic space artwork in the background?  That’s a paint-by-numbers that my sister, Tracey, made for me.  I think that my little space ship will feel right at home docked alongside that painting.  At least until it gets refueled and runs a diagnostic test because the next space adventure awaits!

Yes, I need a life.

[Edited to add: By popular request (ie. one person), here is a pic of the tattoo that inspired my egg-into-space-ship transformation.
The artist is Mike Groves at Pain and Wonder  and you should totally check out his work on his website (kinda NSFW cause of boobies - you're so gonna go look now, aren't you?). I seriously told this guy "I want an old, battered space ship that looks like it's limping home" and this is what he came up with.  Amazing.]

creeping up the place

Every year, I am tempted to “forget” to take down my Halloween decorations and just leave them up all year long.  I love the creepy little accents to my life that much. 

That being said, I prefer subtle decorations that blend in with my existing decor to turning my living room into a haunted house.  I want it to look like it has always been there.  And, I resist the urge to use that fake spider web stuff.  I used to be a fan, until I realized that it doesn’t look like spider webs at all.  It looks like cotton candy.  Cotton candy isn’t scary.  Plus, I saw way too many people going overboard with it to the point that it looked more like snow than anything else.  I freed myself from the faux spider webbing and I haven’t looked back. It was liberating.

Because I am cheap and own a glue gun, I like to make many of my decorations.  And, because I am lazy, most of these decorations are ridiculously simple to make.

I did not make the black skull candle, but I love it dearly.  I did make the stitched up mummy candle holders.  It’s just rolled gauze (or you could use cheesecloth) wrapped around tall, glass candle holders (the small one is actually a juice glass).  I used double stick tape to hold it in place, then made a few stitches with needle and black thread.  Simple and cheap!  I didn’t have to purchase a thing to make these since I already had the gauze which was left over from when my husband set himself on fire years ago.  Thanks, hon!

Spider under glass.  I’m so damn classy.  A few years ago I made about twenty of these spiders one evening while watching television.  I’m an excellent multi-tasker.  The body is two black pom poms hot glued together, then glue four black pipe cleaners to the pom poms.  (Sorry I don’t have step by step instructions with corresponding pictures.  Lazy, remember?)  The legs bend however you need to pose them.  This one is about to nom on an itty bitty pumpkin.  Ain’t that cute?  I have these spiders perched all over the place.  There’s one on my desk at work, too.  He does my filing for me.

  

 Okay, I didn’t make the drippy blood window clings or the eyeballs (they’re bouncy balls) I just like them. 

I did make these pumpkins, though.

Just cut fabric into an eight inch circle, and with heavy thread, stitch very loosely (twelve stitches or so) in and out around the perimeter of the circle leaving both ends of the thread hanging free.  Take a plastic grocery bag, ball it up and place it in the center of the circle.  Tie the ends of the thread together and pull them tight which will gather the fabric up (like tying the draw string on sweat pants) and around the bag ball until it’s completely covered.  Knot the thread tight so the fabric stays put.  Next, wander out into your yard and find a dry branch and break it into two or three inch segments.  Hot glue a branch segment into the pucker made from gathering the fabric and you have a pumpkin.  Seriously, it will take you less time to actually make one than it did for me to figure out how to explain how to make one. 

The pumpkins can stay out through Thanksgiving.  The eyeball jar and bats print will probably have to be packed away before then.  Maybe I can keep the bats up longer.  Just put red hats on them for Christmas or something.  Who says bats can’t be festive for all seasons?

sew it!

I can be a little obsessive compulsive.  I’m okay with that. 

Last week I started thinking about sewing and how nice it would be to own a sewing machine.  I could think about nothing else.  All the cute little things I could make circled through my mind, taunting me.  Pouches, purses, pillows, patches, and even things that don’t begin with P, paraded before me like the anthropomorphic hot dog and candy at the movies that would sing about going to the lobby and getting a treat (hopefully one that doesn’t have arms and legs and sing – talking food is the weirdest).  Then there is Halloween and Christmas and all the wonderful things I could sew for costumes or presents. 

It was all too much.  So, I did the only logical thing.

I call her Daisy.  Isn’t she pretty? 

I purchased her along with thread, bobbins, fabric and a heavy-duty seam ripper cause I know I’ll need that.  I even got a tomato and some pins cause that’s what you’re supposed to do.

I have no idea.

As I set up the machine, it all slowly started coming back to me.  It’s been years since I’ve sewn anything, but I guess it’s like falling off a bike. 

Bobbins - loaded and ready for action.

I put in the bobbin, threaded the needle and ran through a test piece of fabric.

Thar she sews!

Everything seemed to be working as it should, so I got a little ambitious.  I found some scrap pieces of fabric and made one of those little coin purses that I saw on-line. 

Not too shabby, eh?  And I only used the seam ripper once!  Yea, me!  Don’t know if you can tell, but that fabric looks like planks of wood. I call this little purse “Barn Fire” cause of the fabric I used for the lining. 

Flame on!

I showed it to my husband and he replied, in typical fashion, “You can put your weed* in it.”  Thanks, hon.  That’s helpful.   

So, I am now a sewer.  I sew.  Just thought you’d like to know. (I’m also a poet, in case you were wondering.)

*No mom.  Neither me nor my husband smoke weed.  I swear. 

stick it!

I’ve been in a crafty mood lately.  I want to make things.  Surrounding me are papers, scissors, ribbons, glue.  I’m actually looking into buying a sewing machine.  I haven’t sewed in years, but I’ve seen so many cute sewing projects on-line that I want to try.  I should send the bill for my new sewing machine to the creator of the website How About Orange.  It’s her extensive list of DIY Tutorials that rekindled my interest in fabric and thread.  

How cute are these little coin purses?

Until I actually purchase the sewing machine, I will have to stick with paper crafts.  However, I have found what may be the most awesomest little tool that I have ever seen.  I didn’t even know it existed until last week and as soon as I discovered it I was obsessed.  It is now mine. 

I give you the Xyron sticker maker. 

All hail Xyron.

First of all, I don’t know why it is zebra printed.  All the ones they had at Hobby Lobby were animal themed although I have seen some on-line that are normal colors.  This one was $12.99, but I printed Hobby Lobby’s weekly 40% off coupon from their website, so it was only about $8.  

Now for the particulars.  This thing makes stickers.  Stickers!  Any piece of paper you feed into this little machine will be magically transformed into a sticker.  How does it work? 

 

But, who cares how it works?  All that matters is that it makes stickers out of any paper-like material (or fabric!) that you feed into it.  Where was this machine when I was 10?  I was obsessed with stickers as a child.  I would have happily slaughtered five Care Bears for one of these.  If you have a girl-child, run out immediately and purchase a million of these*.  

The possibilities are endless!  Make your own envelope seals, to/from stickers for presents, reminder stickers for your day planner, happy stickers, fun stickers, stickers of you face, stickers of your friend’s faces.  

I’ve already made a batch for myself. 

 

Vintage bottle tops and movie tickets.  I don’t scrapbook, but I own a lot of scrapbooking papers because I just like how they look and I’m addicted to paper in general.  I used a scalloped edge paper punch to cut out the bottle tops and I just cut the movie tickets out with scissors.  Now they are stickers.  What will I use them for?  I donno yet.  My day planner still has some white space or maybe I’ll decorate my monitors at work.  Does it matter?  I got stickers! 

Okay.  I know that a grown woman shouldn’t be so excited about stickers.  But, it’s the little things, ya know? 

*I am in no way affiliated with Xyron nor was I compensated for my endorsement.  However if Xyron would like to toss a couple bucks my way, I know how to be discreet.  Just sayin’.

as crafty as I wanna be

At best, I’m a sporadic crafter and I’m not loyal to any one crafting discipline.  I’ll see a random pretty, sparkly thing and attempt to make it myself.  I might make a couple pretty, sparkly things, then I usually get distracted or bored, and move on to something else or stop crafting altogether for a while.  I’m a creative type person, so it doesn’t take long until I get inspired and start another project.   

The only real qualifications I have for a craft project is that it can easily be created at my coffee table in front of the television and that it doesn’t involve fire.  It also helps if the quality of said craft isn’t adversely affected by a glass or five of wine.  I also prefer a craft that can produce a finished piece in one evening, two evenings max.  I’m not very patient and, as I mentioned, I get bored, so knitting or crocheting or anything of the sort is out of the question.  I made a baby quilt once.  Once.  It nearly killed me.  

Coiled ribbon brooches and ponytail holders I made on a crafting binge.

My crafting tendencies lean toward things I can wear, like jewelery or hair accessories.  Every once in a while I’ll start to think I’m the shiz and I’ll try to make real art, but Van Gogh I’m not.  I’m more of a doodler than an artist.  Letterforms and typefaces have always fascinated me as well.  That’s probably why I’ve had some success with creating ambigrams.  I can sketch them out to keep me awake during work meetings.     

Ambigrams of Rachel, Space and Savanna.

One thing I keep coming back to, whenever I get the crafting bug, is paper.  I love paper.  I’ll make my own stickers, fold little origami animals or just cut out shapes from patterned paper to stick in my day planner.  I’m pretty good with a pair of scissors, especially for a lefty using righty tools.   

Just some of my origami papers. I have a problem.

I really put my scissor skills to the test the other day.  I found an awesome cool website (cubeecraft.com) where you can download and print free templates to make papercraft toys.  And I’m not talking about some lame-ass teddy bear or dolly.  Take a gander at these guys: 

Hellboy and Wolverine kickin' ass on my entertainment center.

Be still my geeky heart!  I’ve got paper Dexter, Ray Stantz and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man all printed up and ready to cut out and piece together next.  It’s going to be hard to decide which ones I keep at home and which ones I’ll take to decorate my desk at work.  Maybe a different one for each day of the week!  I gotta get cuttin’!