halloween costumes – male review

In the past, I have dissected the phenomenon of gratuitous sexuality in female Halloween costumes.  Those two posts, entitled “Happy Dress Like a Slut Day” and “”Puttin’ the Low in Halloween“,  receive quite a few hits around this time of year due to people searching for said slutty sexy costumes.  I thought I’d continue to cash in on this search-result-hit goldmine with another costume post.  However, this year, I thought I’d let the fellas get in on the action. Cause we all know that the fellas like the action.  Ooohh, yeeeahh.

First thing I noticed when searching men’s costumes is that they have a lot of food-centric options.

Gives a whole new meaning to "taco night"

Visual puns are also popular.

Subtle.

And, where women are required to use their own “assets” to fill in their costumes, the men are provided augmentation.

Conan the Faux-barian

Hardly seems fair. You don’t see any female costumes with fake chests.  Wait. I should rephrase that.

Anyway . . . Another trend in men’s costumes seems to be going for the WTF factor.

Is "Ostrich Rider" a thing?

If the fingers were repositionable, I could almost understand this.

 

Superheros are always a popular choice.  The key word here being “super.”  Don’t be a Mediocre-hero.

His spidey sense is indigestion.

Wolver-lame

And, I learned that women haven’t cornered the market on uncomfortably inappropriate costumes.

More like Hamptons Globetrotter. Is that racist?

Okay, guys.  Be careful out there this Halloween.  Don’t spill any drinks on your fake pecs or get jumped in an alley because you really aren’t from Harlem.