Have you ever wondered how I come up with my snarky comments for those retro ads I’m so fond of?
Well, this is a little awkward. I’ll pretend to be interested in this magazine while you back out of the room and quietly close the door behind you.
Okay, then. My process for captioning those ads is twofold:
1. Write down the first thing that pops into my head
2. Edit for spelling and f-bombs
If I stare at an ad for longer than a minute and an idea for a caption hasn’t materialized, I move on. I’ve found that if I try to force it, it just falls flat. (That’s what she said! Sorry.)
Here’s an example:
When I saw this one, the first thing that popped into my head was “Bubble Tape.” I haven’t seen Bubble Tape in years. Do they even still make the stuff? I don’t know why my brain went there, but can you look at that picture and not see Bubble Tape, now?
This was an ad for silverware, which is random in itself. What does football have to do with flatware? Anyway, concussion injuries of football players has been in the news quite a bit recently, so when I saw the mysterious floating spoon, I figured it had to be a symptom of brain damage.
This one was easy. These dudes are super white and look super smug. A few grueling days working at the Bubble Tape factory will take them down a peg or two. This one was also heavily influenced by Louis CK (link is to a video clip of his stand-up and is kinda NSFW, but oh so funny).
I apologize in advance for this next one. Mom, is someone at your door? You may want to go check.
Yes, I went there. I’m not proud of myself. Unless you thought it was funny, that is.
As always, thank you Plan59 for allowing me to rape your website for blog material.