I don’t buy into the idea that humans only use about 10% of our brains. I believe that we use every square millimeter of our grey matter, but we may not know exactly what we are using it for. I know there have been many times when a large portion of my brain must have been occupied with some important unknown task while my body was left to stumble and flounder with only basic brain power keeping me upright and breathing. This is the only explanation for why I keep buying bags of shredded cheese when I already have half a dozen bags in the fridge at home or that time I thought gold eyeshadow was a good idea. And, while some may swear by the Cliff Clavin buffalo theory, I am certain that more than a few herds of my best and brightest brain cells were run off a cliff by rampaging glasses of red wine.
Wouldn’t it be great if we could free up some of the space in our brains? Remove some of the information we no longer need or didn’t even want to know in the first place. Maybe if my brain had more viable cells to play with, I wouldn’t have to turn down the radio in order to concentrate on driving to an address I’ve never been to before. Possibly I could finally learn proper math. Or learn how to force choke people like Darth Vader!
Knowledge is power, but some knowledge is just dead weight. A sampling of some of the things I would delete from my cerebral hard-drive if I could:
- The lyrics to “American Pie” by Don McLean. Damn, that’s a long song. I could probably fit a dozen e.e. cummings poems in that space.
- What an Experience Modification is, the minimum and maximum executive officer payrolls for workers compensation, the difference between occurrence and claims made policies and how a fleet automobile policy works. If I could forget all this information it would mean that I have a new, sparkly job that has nothing to do with insurance. Either that, or I won the lottery. Or, I’m serving time for arson.
- How to re-spool a cassette tape with a pencil. There is no time in the future that this skill will be relevant.
- My old home phone number when I was growing up. Maybe if I forget it, I will finally be able to remember my cell number.
- That Davy Jones’s (The Monkees) birthday is December 30th. It’s not like I send him a card or anything.
- What a dead kitten looks and feels like. That really brought the room down, didn’t it?
- The prologue to The Canterbury Tales in the original Middle English. This has never come in handy. Ever.
I am sure that there is more knowledge that I could easily sacrifice, but since I am now thinking about “smale foweles maken melodye” I have no idea what it could be. If that space in my brain were free, I might be able to conjure up a better way to end this post.