I recently got a haircut. A major one. Like, over 8 inches chopped off. It’s so short that I can barely pull strands to my nose to smell them. (I like the way my shampoo smells, okay?) I didn’t get a divorce or quit my job or do any of the other things that seem to make women want to drastically change their hair. I was just tired of it being long. It was starting to annoy me. And, this is kind of a cycle for me – grow it out, cut it off, grow it out, cut it off. Only this time, I had grown it out excessively and then I cut it off to an equal degree. The stylist was a bit nervous, but I assured her that I would not regret my actions in the morning. Plus, what gal with tattoos would be afraid of a hair cut? Hair grows back.
Anyway, when I debuted my new do at work the first thing people asked me, after asking if I liked it, was: “What does your husband think?” It’s an interesting question. I know that some people assume that I discussed the issue with my husband beforehand – which I didn’t. Others assume that my husband has a say in how I wear my hair – which he doesn’t.
After 10+ years of marriage, I know that my husband likes short hair, so I knew that he would probably like my new style. However, I also know that he really doesn’t care what I do with my hair so long as I like it. And even though he prefers short hair, he never made a comment or suggestion regarding me cutting it while it was long. And that’s why we’ve had 10+ years of marriage.
Even more interesting than my co-workers’ question, was their comment after I answered. More than a few mentioned that their husbands would have been pissed if they changed their hair as dramatically as I had. This says as much about their husbands as it does about them. These are grown women, with professional careers, who also probably do 90% of the housework and take care of their children. They are married to overbearing men who probably wouldn’t know how to boil pasta if their life depended on it and who are so insecure that they have to be consulted before their wives do anything as mundane as change their hair. Pathetic on all levels.
It’s not just about hair. It’s about knowing what’s important and what you can let go. It’s about keeping the big picture crystal clear and the minutiae in soft focus. I could never be married to someone who’s big picture included me styling my hair a certain way or wearing certain clothes. I will never understand women who resign themselves to living that way. Life is way too short.
