hey girl, you’ve got a problem

I have a full-time job – Monday through Friday, 8:30 am to 5:00 pm. I have a part-time non-paying job editing books when I get home. Right now I have a 60,000 word historical romance novel I need to line edit by Thursday. THIS Thursday. I also have submissions from members of my writer’s group that I have to read and critique. Then there is the book for my book club that I have to finish reading. Not to mention the book that I am supposed to be writing.  And I also try to carve out a few moments to write on this here blog for fun. But I need to read and comment on blogs that I follow as well because they are all so awesome.

Busy, right?
So, what do I do?
I start a new tumblr blog.
Because I am a lunatic.

See, last Friday, for some reason, I  was thinking about that “Hey girl, Ryan Gosling” meme that’s going around. If you aren’t familiar, it’s superimposed text over a photo of hot young actor Ryan Gosling that says ridiculously romantic things like, “Hey girl, I love how you look in sweatpants.” Or, “Hey girl, I can record the game, let’s go to the farmer’s market instead.” Sappy stuff like that.

Then my brain led me down a twisted thought path and I started musing about everyone’s favorite crossbow wielding redneck, Daryl Dixon from The Walking Dead, and what a very un-romantic character he is. He doesn’t have time for niceties or making a girl feel good about herself. He’s got squirrels to kill and zombie ears to collect and crossbow bolts to carve from tree branches, dammit!

And then I started cracking myself up (as I am wont to do) by the images I created in my head. But not satisfied with just my thoughts, I decided to bring them to life.

I understand that if you aren’t a fan of the show, all this will make little to no sense to you and for that, I apologize.

And then, because I am an attention whore, I created a tumblr blog where I can post this insanity for the whole internet to see.  What’s even worse? It’s actually kinda popular. I started this on Friday night and as of Monday afternoon the blog already has 53 followers. For some perspective, I started my Retro Fun tumblr over seven months ago and it only has 22 followers. The last thing I need is for other people to think this stuff is entertaining! Now I’ll want to keep doing it! When I should be doing something else!

I think I have raised procrastination to an art-form.
I have a problem.

And now I gotta go Google some more pictures of Daryl to caption.
Excuse me . . .

creative procrastination

Lately, I’ve felt uninspired. I want to do anything other than what I should be doing. The responsible side of me says, “You really should stop wasting time.” The immature child side of me flails around on the floor screaming, “I don’t wanna!” Then, I open my eyes and realize that I really am on the floor, throwing a massive tantrum. People are staring down at me, slowly shaking their heads.  Not my proudest moment.

So, do I get a grip on myself and buckle down? Do I open up any one of a dozen stories (my own and slush for the magazine I’m working for) and get to work editing? Do I grow the f*ck up?

Nope.

I do this:

I could tell you that this is a meditation on how technology is distracting us with bright lights and pretty, pretty colors while simultaneously fracturing our perception of reality.  But, that would be a lie.  It’s just a robot.

I found a box of old business cards, painted the backs of them with watercolors and then drew a robot on them. And now I’m wasting even more time by posting this insanity for all you nice people to read.

My apologies.  I shouldn’t drag you down with me. 

I gotta get my act together.  Enough playing around.  Back to work.

Ooohh, look! Zombie movies on Netflix!