zombie survival tips: a guest post from my blog wife

I’m honoring a commitment ceremony on Independence Day. Kinda ironic, huh? Well, I don’t think of my blog wife, Thoughts Appear, as a ball-and-chain but more like a partner-in-crime.  And to prove it, today I’m letting her steal the show.

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 When Amy, aka Zombie Princess Leia, asked me to write a guest post, I knew immediately what to write about. Zombies. 

And since the zombie apocalypse is rapidly approaching, I decided to rewatch a classic zombie movie for survival tips: George Romero’s Night of the Living Dead

Step 1: Identifying Zombies 

The zombie experts in Cumberland, Maryland (Thoughtsy’s Fun Fact #1: I went to college near Cumberland.), describe zombies as…

  • Mis-shapened people
  • People who act like animals
  • People in a trance
  • People who eat flesh 

If you’re still unsure if someone is a zombie, there are two tests to administer.

  • Zombies are afraid of fire.
  • Zombies lick their lips when you pour salt and pepper on your arm. 

Step 2: Escaping Zombies 

Here are the escape tips I learned from the movie:

  • Beware of headstones when running in the cemetery.
  • Don’t let a woman drive the escape vehicle. She’ll wreck it…after driving 5 feet.
  • Don’t let a man drive the escape vehicle. He’ll catch it on fire.
  • Maybe just forget escape vehicles and wait for rescue. 

And finally and most importantly…

 Step 3: Zombie Karma 

If you tease your sister in the graveyard, a zombie will eat you. (Thoughtsy’s Fun Fact #2: I have a brother who teases me…a lot.) 

Now gimme your best zombie face. Here’s mine.  

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Thank you, Thoughtsy, for your informative and (more importantly) highly entertaining guest post.  And, also thank you so much for my awesome engagement ring!  I love it! 

I may have licked it. Just once.

Everyone, please check out Thoughts Appear’s Blog for more important life lessons that movies teach us as well as just general awesomeness.