There are some events you just don’t miss, like your child’s high school graduation or your mom’s wedding. For Lenore, one of these can’t miss, absolutely must attend or die trying events was the grand opening of a Ben & Jerry’s in her hometown.
Lenore was certain that she was primarily responsible for the newest location of the world famous ice cream shop. She had submitted no fewer than two hundred requests on the Ben & Jerry’s corporate website petitioning for her town to be the next to receive a shop. Then there was her Twitter campaign in which she and a handful of her followers basically carpet bombed the Ben & Jerry’s account with tweets asking them to open a franchise in Lenore’s North Georgia town.
When she learned that the ice cream moguls had relented and a notice was posted in the newspaper announcing the construction of a new shop not ten miles from Lenore’s front door, she was ecstatic. She dragged the family’s tent out of the attic and was preparing to camp out at the construction site until the shop opened, but her husband and two young boys pleaded with her to remain at home. She agreed only when she found out the tent had a hole in the roof.
Now, months later, Lenore was among the throngs of people that converged upon the new Ben & Jerry’s location for the grand opening. It was a carnival like atmosphere with balloons and games and the local radio station was broadcasting from the parking lot. There was even a small stage where various up and coming musical acts performed for the crowd. Lenore was not interested in any of the festivities. She was in line for another free sample of ice cream. This would be her fifteenth. Her husband had long ago gone home with the boys, who had looked a bit green while clutching their stuffed bellies.
Lenore was not done yet, however. There were still at least seven flavors she had not sampled and she was determined to try them all.
Chewing on her little wooden sample spoon in anticipation, Lenore approached the counter. She was trying to decide between the Chocolate Nougat Crunch or the new Cannoli flavor when there was a commotion behind her. Outside in the parking lot, people were screaming and running away from the stage. Lenore then saw a man wearing baggy clothes and gold chains lumbering through the crowd, snarling and lunging at people as they passed. She guessed he was one of the performers – a rapper of some sort – because he was still clutching a microphone in one hand. A security guard approached and tried to subdue the rapper, who sank his teeth into the guard’s cheek and ripped away a thick hunk of flesh and muscle. Blood splattered across the stunned faces of the two other guards who had arrived as back-up. Lenore guessed this wasn’t part of the rapper’s act.
The Ben & Jerry’s employees and everyone who had been standing in line for free samples had run out of the shop to try and find their friends and families in the panicking crowd. Lenore was alone in the ice cream shop. Ignoring the rapper as he munched his way through what was supposed to be his potential fan-base, Lenore closed and locked the front door of the shop. Walking to the counter she smiled at the gallons and gallons of frozen perfection spread out before her. She grabbed a new spoon and dug in.
Priorities, man. You gotta have them.
My friend Lenore asked to be written into one of these zombie stories and I knew from the very beginning that ice cream had to be involved somehow. I hope you like your story, Lenore. If you notice, I made sure to note that your family was safe at home so you could eat your ice cream without feeling guilty. I’m a softie that way.
If you’d like to read my other zombie stories just click here. Or don’t. No big whoop.